Hi There Strangers

Thinking 27 April 2010 | 3 Comments

I'm back looking for some tips, someone willing to give me some ideas and advice.

It's obvious to myself I am backed up against a wall and I need to make BIG changes. I keep saying this, one day it will stick. Soon. My metabolism is non-existent so I can't just make little changes I have to change everything.

I feel like nothing I do makes a difference, this feeling holds me down.

Lately I'm making more smoothies and am trying Almond milk. I'm bringing more salads to work. We've been grilling a lot at home lately and making more food for dinner.

I'm not working out much, or not nearly enough. I feel so dragged down, like I'm being pulled down or someone is sitting on me. I feel if the food I eat is helping me more than hurting me I'll have more energy.

I'm meeting with another doctor soon, a weight specialist who I hope can lead me in the right direction. I really need someone to help me figure out from the foods I like what I can eat. I hate fake sugar and try to avoid it.

So do you have food/snack ideas or recipes? I'd appreciate the help.

Still Kicking

Thinking 11 March 2010 | 3 Comments

Well sort of. I’m still here, still alive. I’m not getting rid of this site, just no energy to write for it and nothing to say that I haven’t said a million times. On new meds that are giving me headaches and insomnia, so I’m always tired. I haven’t given up, I don’t think I ever will, just have to take it at my own pace.

If you want to say hi you can find me at these locations:


Life is Not a Movie

Accidental Beauty


Fan Page

Looking Back

Thinking 12 February 2010 | 3 Comments

Happy Together

I haven’t had a lot to say lately, I can’t keep up momentum and it’s frustrating. That TOM comes along and knocks me over. I don’t even get all the problems most women get but I do get bloated and tired. Anyway…

My seven year anniversary is on Sunday with this man here and I came across this picture from our honeymoon in RI almost 2 years ago (we had a mini-honeymoon and a big honeymoon because we’re that special). I remember back then, during the time of our wedding, I thought I looked awful. I thought I was fat and disgusting and really hated myself.

Now I see this picture and wow, I looked pretty damn good. I’m always sad to realize how little I appreciated myself when I was thinner. Not that I was skinny by any means, I was overweight, but at that time I think I carried it pretty well. That’s me there 50-60 lbs overweight.

So I’m trying, hard, to be optimistic and not beat myself up for whatever isn’t in me at the moment. I want to believe someday I will have it in me, to give so much more, but I just don’t yet but I keep trying. Is it my out-of-whack hormones? Is it just seasonal? Is it depression? Maybe all, I don’t know but I do know that feeling bad doesn’t help me.

Also, as I’ve said a million times, my husband and I are dealing with a lot right now and it’s about it get much worse. I am so lucky to have him, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. He’s always beside me, no matter how bad it gets and I try really hard to do the same for him. Even more miraculously he thinks I’m beautiful even at my worst and every woman should have that in her corner.

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