I haven’t had a lot to say lately, I can’t keep up momentum and it’s frustrating. That TOM comes along and knocks me over. I don’t even get all the problems most women get but I do get bloated and tired. Anyway…
My seven year anniversary is on Sunday with this man here and I came across this picture from our honeymoon in RI almost 2 years ago (we had a mini-honeymoon and a big honeymoon because we’re that special). I remember back then, during the time of our wedding, I thought I looked awful. I thought I was fat and disgusting and really hated myself.
Now I see this picture and wow, I looked pretty damn good. I’m always sad to realize how little I appreciated myself when I was thinner. Not that I was skinny by any means, I was overweight, but at that time I think I carried it pretty well. That’s me there 50-60 lbs overweight.
So I’m trying, hard, to be optimistic and not beat myself up for whatever isn’t in me at the moment. I want to believe someday I will have it in me, to give so much more, but I just don’t yet but I keep trying. Is it my out-of-whack hormones? Is it just seasonal? Is it depression? Maybe all, I don’t know but I do know that feeling bad doesn’t help me.
Also, as I’ve said a million times, my husband and I are dealing with a lot right now and it’s about it get much worse. I am so lucky to have him, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. He’s always beside me, no matter how bad it gets and I try really hard to do the same for him. Even more miraculously he thinks I’m beautiful even at my worst and every woman should have that in her corner.