Looking Back

Thinking 12 February 2010 | 3 Comments

Happy Together

I haven’t had a lot to say lately, I can’t keep up momentum and it’s frustrating. That TOM comes along and knocks me over. I don’t even get all the problems most women get but I do get bloated and tired. Anyway…

My seven year anniversary is on Sunday with this man here and I came across this picture from our honeymoon in RI almost 2 years ago (we had a mini-honeymoon and a big honeymoon because we’re that special). I remember back then, during the time of our wedding, I thought I looked awful. I thought I was fat and disgusting and really hated myself.

Now I see this picture and wow, I looked pretty damn good. I’m always sad to realize how little I appreciated myself when I was thinner. Not that I was skinny by any means, I was overweight, but at that time I think I carried it pretty well. That’s me there 50-60 lbs overweight.

So I’m trying, hard, to be optimistic and not beat myself up for whatever isn’t in me at the moment. I want to believe someday I will have it in me, to give so much more, but I just don’t yet but I keep trying. Is it my out-of-whack hormones? Is it just seasonal? Is it depression? Maybe all, I don’t know but I do know that feeling bad doesn’t help me.

Also, as I’ve said a million times, my husband and I are dealing with a lot right now and it’s about it get much worse. I am so lucky to have him, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. He’s always beside me, no matter how bad it gets and I try really hard to do the same for him. Even more miraculously he thinks I’m beautiful even at my worst and every woman should have that in her corner.


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3 Responses on “Looking Back”

  1. What a beautiful picture of the two of you. I didn’t appreciate my smaller size when I was there. It’s hard to keep up the momentum day after day, especially with life’s stresses.

    Thinking of you Robin.

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  2. josie says:

    I’m sorry I missed your anniversary! You are right, every woman deserves to have someone like that in her corner, you are fortunate.

    I, too, look back at my ’skinnier’ pictures and wonder how I ever complained to have been at that weight. Truth is, at the time I hated myself even though I was much smaller.

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