Sugar Shock

I am not in the workout craze stage, however I am bringing it back into my lifestyle.

I am not in the super healthy eating stage, however I am making good changes.

I am in the learning and gathering stage. It's a hard stage because little actually changes on the outside, it's all on the inside. It's hard to say "yeah, I haven't lost weight but I have learned how to add more protein."

I don't want to push anything or rush anything, I have done that every other time and failed. At the same time I am one of the most impatient people in the world, I can't stand to wait for 5 minutes for someone much less an indefinite amount of time to start physically feeing better.

So right now I am reading a lot of blogs and learning from their experiences. I am listening to what's inside me and pushing out the negative thoughts. I'm trying not to focus on the next stage but just letting myself be where I am right now and realizing I am ok.

I may not be where I want to be yet but I am trying, every single day. I will keep learning and gathering for as long as I need to. I will keep writing here taking this all one step, one bite at a time, one breath at a time.

• I'm keeping up with the journaling, the trick is to always have the journal in eye sight or at least that's my own trick.
• I've kept up with all of my goals except I missed one day of the big bad stairs (I have felt so sick all week) and I've missed my protein a couple times out of just sheer loss of energy and appetite.
• I've gotten a significant amount of exercising in this week, I haven't pushed myself very hard since I don't feel well but I got out there and sweat a little.
• I'm going to the local annual fair today assuming the weather is ok, which it's not supposed to be. If it's not ok then I will try to get to the gym and then we may go to the movies or something. I really hope I get to go to the fair though...

Updates 100 Days List:

1. Take the big bad stairs at least once a day at work.
2. Drink some water everyday.
3. Eat protein with every meal.
4. Journal every weekday (at least).
5. Get some extra exercise 3x a week, even if it's just a walk or dancing around the house.

The whole point of writing down or keeping track of what you eat is to be able to visibly see the good choices and the not quite as good choices. I keep trying to write down my food but then you know, I eat a bowl of cereal and I just bail on the entire thing. I make one mistake and I just throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up!" The whole point of this journey is about learning and you can't learn without achnowledging the mistakes you make. I ride my bike for a couple weeks, I go a couple days without doing it and I just give up. I cut down on sugar and feel better until I eat a few cookies and I decide to throw in the towel. I need to show myself that the mistakes are important because that's how you get better, that is how you learn and how you change. I need to open my eyes and take notice of what I do because hiding from it doesn't make it go away. Hiding from parts of yourself only gives those parts the control. More than anything, I want control back. So the last 2 days I've been again writing down the food I'm eating, sometimes I write a note about how I feel at that moment. I am not writing down calories and I'm not weighing everything. I'm just acknowledging what I am eating, that's all. I never thought just writing it down mattered but a funny thing happened last night. I had my journal open and in front of me all night. I was thinking of getting a scoop of ice cream but decided I didn't want to write it down so instead of just giving up the journal I decided against the ice cream. I think I'm in the lead. Speaking of that, I joined Daily Mile. If you are on this site won't you add me =)